Review Swimmming Home by Deborah Levy

When the Man Booker prize 2012 shortlist was announced I got excited. It's only because the Man Booker prize is synonymous with excellent and thought provoking, new and dynamic perceptions of literature. So I rushed out and bought Deborah Levy's novel titled "Swimming Home". The blurb on the back should have probably been an indicator that this type of novel was not going to create fireworks for me, but as the old saying goes "never judge a book by its cover". 
The blurb simply states:
"As he arrives with his family at the villa in the hills above Nice, Joe sees a body in the swimming pool. But the girl is very much alive. She is Kitty Finch: a self-proclaimed botanist with green-painted fingernails, walking naked out of the water and into the heard of their holiday. Why is she there? What does she want from them all? And why does Joe's enigmatic wife allow her to remain?"
With this blurb in mind, I guess I had produced all sorts of scenarios about the possibility that lay behind the cover of the novel.

The brief outline of the plot is this: It is set over a few days, with each chapter titled with a day and each sub chapter divided into significant sub titles. A family and their friends have all turned up to a holiday villa in France for what they suspect to be a lovely and relaxing occasion. They then encounter Kitty Finch who has a tendency to walk around naked and is so thin to the point of extreme anorexia. She seems to think that she has booked the villa also and through the generosity of the family they invite her to stay. there is a building tension between them as Kitty becomes the catalyst for a new and dysfunctional group dynamic. Joe is a world famous poet, and Kitty thrusts upon him some work of her own which she calls "swimming home" which is a conversation between herself and the poet but is interpreted by Nina (Joe's young daughter) as a suicide note. Through the conflicts of control between Kitty and Joe's wife both Kitty and Joe end up sleeping together, which honestly was the most boring and obvious thing that could have happened. In the end Nina finds the body of her father in the swimming pool.

I'm going to be brutally honest, it bored me. The plot seemed insignificant and did not produce anything to hook me. However it's not necessarily about the plot but more of the socially awkward interactions between the characters, the friction punctuates the actual conversation. As a reader I felt as if both myself and the narrator were bystanders of an awkward interchange of meaningless words, but recognising that the pauses between the words were heavily loaded with seething uncertainty. As a reader I was made to feel uncomfortable for the first chapter. The introduction of Kitty and her blatant intention towards the renowned poet Joe sparks all the friction. The first image we have of her is likened to a body, lifeless within the water and naked. The imagery of Kitty's nakedness was a prevalent theme throughout and brought light the conflict for the possession of control. For the reader there is a sense of 'I understand this' because everyone has had an interaction with somebody and fought for a sense of control over the situation. Yet this novel took those sense of inadequacy and trebled the intensity to a level which goes to the point of absurdity. The main skill Deborah Levy has is the ability to deconstruct her characters and build them as so as all their flaws are personalised and on show for everyone to see.

There is a sense of game playing, Kitty seems to need or want Joe, often commenting that her poem she wrote is a 'conversation with him' and only him, which is probably why, when Nina reads it the words seem to hold little or no meaning to her and only serves to intoxicate. The portrayal of mental illness is one which I, as a reader, felt inept to fully appreciate. Having only had a limited personal experience with any type of mental illness I was surprised by how much I didn't comprehend. The whole world of Kitty Finch is swallowed up by a chaotic mind which extends its power across to the other characters who are on holiday. It is clear that Kitty's expression of mental illness was a deep, internal turmoil of Joe's and it is most likely this which causes him to commit suicide.
It is hard to pin down just whose story this is, it is as much Kitty's as it is Joe's, or Nina's, each providing a unique perspective from which the reader can attempt to detangle the web of intimate connections between all the characters.

I guess my main problem with this novella is my own personal lack of understanding. I found it to be awkward and tension filled to the point where I felt apprehensive reading it. Though one must consider that this is actually a sign of a very good writer to make a reader experience such emotions and genuine connection with the characters. perhaps this novella says more about myself and my own mental state (and my lack of willingness to explore it) then what I am prepared to admit to. It provides an insight into the social qualities which lie underneath the surface of our society, sex, lies and impromptu decisions which govern the very human existence. I think I will re read this in order to gain some more insight into it, it both fascinates and confuses me because I was both bored and in awe of it.

Life list

You know sometimes you just have to sit down and think of all the things 'i wish i could do'. Well I finally decided to jot down all of the things i've been thinking about. Of course it's a work in progress, there are so many things that i don't even know about that i'm sure that i want to do. The main thing in life is to take every opportunity, or at least have a damn good reason as to why you didn't/couldn't take it.
So, here's my work in progress life list :)

Things to achieve in my lifetime:

• Road trip across Europe
• Road trip across USA
• Volunteer race for charity
• Pay for a room for a homeless person for the night
• Buy my own car
• Skydive=  Achieved in Tanzania in 2008 :D
• Bungee jump
• Spontaneous visit to a friend
• Turn up to an airport with bags and a passport and buy a ticket for the next flight out.
• Get a job in publishing
• Take a photograph every day for a year
• Love with everything I have
• Give random gifts to people
• Own a Doberman
• Go zorbing
• Learn to surf
• Dive the Great Barrier reef
• Ride a horse Western style across the Prairie
• Go quad biking
• Climb a mountain
• Make every recipe from a single cookbook
• Host a dinner party
 
• Be an extra in a movie
• Go to a yoga class
• Go to the Olympics

• Have professional modelling pictures taken
• Experience being pregnant and a mum
• Get married
• See moose in Canada
• Swim with Dolphins and Whales
• Have something of mine published
• Travel the world and keep a record/diary of everything
• Say only kind and positive things for a day
• Say what I think even if it's stupid
• Go to random events even if I think its not my thing.

There is so much more, but all of these are totally achievable so going to to try!

The power of OATS!! BubzBeauty

So everyone who's anyone knows that oats are an amazing grain but what most people don't know is that they are great for you inside and out. Now for the past 18 months or so i've been suffering from a random red blotchy patch on my face (highly upsetting since i've always been blessed with clear skin) it has had a dramatic effect on my self confidence etc etc. I think i've tried everything to get the same smoothness and to try to calm the redness down. Nothing has worked and i feel a little crushed but then I randomly came across a YouTube video by a make-up and beauty guru called BubzBeauty who did a video about using oats (and only oats) as a face exfoliator. I'll link it here :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7e5_RVBwNjE

It basically just advises you to use oats as a facial scrub if you have sensitive skin, or anything unusual is happening to it. I've literally just tried it and the first thing i've noticed is that the redness is toned down and my skin feels super soft :) It feels really soft and coupled with a face cream for sensitive skin (i use Aveeno) and i feel renewed. I'm now hoping that if i continue with it the small patch that is causing me so much damaged self confidence will receed enough for my inner beauty and confidence to shine through!

SO HAPPY!! So i really just want to say thanks to Bubz and her interesting, dynmaic and useful YouTube videos :)

Man booker prize 2012

Yay! The shortlist for the Man Booker prize 2012 was announced early last week. I am so excited to be able to have time to read through them and to really enjoy them. All the entries can be found here:http://www.themanbookerprize.com/news/2012-shortlist-announced and there is a variety of genre's, authors and nationalities which is just fantastic to see. As a literature graduate, i'm ashamed to say that i've barely read anything from other cultures. Though saying that i did do a 'postcolonial' module which was interesting enough but didn't hold my attention. Not sure if it was because it focused too much on the negative elements of people's writings rather than writing as an expression of the self. But anyway, the winner is announced in October so i doubt that i will have time to read and review all of them in between trying to get a 'real' job and whatnot but i am certainly willing to try. I've made a note of it and will pop into a bookshop to have a look.
Oh as a side note, if you're interested in just any random musings check out the bbc podcasts 'a point of view' narrated usually by John Gray. Its really quite interesting, its only 10 minutes and comes out every friday. I discovered this when researching for my dissertation, he just happened to discuss Cormac McCarthy's 'Blood Meridian' in connection to Hobbes and Locke about violence. So if you have a few minutes to spare, give it a listen as it is an informative piece and quite enlightening. :)

Take care

Stacey  xxxx

Looking back and moving on

Wow it's been a long time since I've written anything on my blog. That just shows how time consuming an MA really is! This post is more about the journey I've been on this year.
When i look back at my first blog about doing an MA i feel as if i am so exciting, focused and looking forward to the challenge of the course. I realise now, of course, how much my amazing undergraduate experience had an influence on how i expected it to go. I smile now at the naivety of my past self. What transpired happened to be the worst year of my life, and since I've had a lovely one so far i just didn't like my sudden down turn of luck! I had a great many challenges to face and non of them were rewarding or an interesting experience. I had to battle depression, separation from my boyfriend who moved abroad and then continued to play the waiting game to see him again. Then the crown jewel...being dumped by said boyfriend. Well i say dumped but it was apparently in our best interests to do so and it was 'mutual'. Not a very nice experience when i was on the brink of the most important element of my MA, the dissertation.
WOW.
So my dissertation ended up being my emotional crutch, a mechanism to pour myself into to block out everything else in my life. When it was finished, i found myself crying a lot, not knowing how to deal with a whole boat load of emotions sailing in. But when it came to hand in day, i was naturally nervous but also it was such a relief to let it go. I handed it in, had a photo taken with my friend Charlotte holding our babies up like proud parents. Then this massive weight lifted off of me and i didn't know this whole time i had been subconsciously tense and holding my breath! i felt like i could breath, that i was letting go of a whole load of stuff holding me back. i decided to embrace the summer, or what was left of it and sat by the lakes reading for pleasure (would you believe?!!) and lounged in the sunshine with literally nothing to do. it was great, my mind was free. i reminisced about a lot of university memories which involved the summer and just relaxed and let it flood over me. Naturally university for me means my 'ex' so i decided to face those issues and try to let go of how i feel about him :) i took to walking around the lakes which is funny in itself because it became a symbol of problem solving between me and my friend Laura. we used to walk around them in our first year and moan about our boyfriends, what they did/didn't do! ha ha. funny times. Makes me laugh now, but doing that was quite comforting. I got half way around and decided that i didn't want to feel like i have done, it was a step forward. i remember thinking that i have to deal with things as they arrive and not what might or might not happen, the  future has been such a scary thing for me because it didn't mean much positive for me. I've felt a shadow of myself and decided that its time to turn the page and be who i want to be!
So my advice to anyone who is having a hard time, just take time out stop listening to the static in your mind but rather the actual thoughts. Finding a path isn't easy, but as long as you're going forward it can't be too wrong.
I'm hopefully going to have more time to focus on this blog now, so can update it more often.

Love always Stacey xx

Catch up :)

Hey! :)
I've recently had the amazing opportunity to have a little Sunday job working in the new store (due to open early April so go have a lookie!) of Schuh opening here in Colchester. The interview for which was so much fun, a tad awkward but who doesn't like to think of themselves as chocolate, or a car? It was a bit of a miracle that i was offered the job i reckon, cos i swear in the middle of it i totally forgot that i was being interviewed!!
Already I am totally hooked on shoes, I've literally been scrolling through their web page wishing I had money to buy stuff!! I'm going to NYC end of May and want to, well ya know, represent :P if there could be such a thing for such an unfashionable person as myself. Buttt, i've seen these...wedges and i think they would look so good with a cute little summer dress. Best thing is, NY doesn't have the same uniquely British problem of cloud coverage which plunges the temperature to minus 7 if you're not sat directly in the sun!
This year i think will be a summer of mixed emotions, I've never had a busy summer before and i've always chilled right out to enjoy it. This year however, i have to write my MA dissertation; it should be a crime to ask people to work when its nice weather! So whilst i'm excited that winter has finally gone, its also a mixed sign of things are coming and i'm not prepared!!
On a seperate note completely have you heard of www.goodreads.com? I recommend it if you're a bit of a reader like me, you basically say what you have read and rate it and then it comes up with quite insightful new titles which may not have occured to you to actually read them before. I'm quite obssessed with it!
Well nothing much else is happening, I'm hoping to do a book review of "The Tiger's Wife" By Tea Obreht soon so keep an eye out. :)
xxxxxx

Product Rave- St.Ives face scrub.

MASSIVE PRODUCT RAVE!!
Firstly though, I'm not endorsed by any company and so all my views are just that, mine :)
I am absolutely in love with St.Ives 'Fresh Skin' apricot scrub that comes with the handy sub genre of INVIGORATING which literally is displayed in capitals ( so I'm not doing it for effect!). But first, let me tell you the story of how i came to choose this quite delightful product. A few months ago my skin weirdly changed and i had an odd vertical line down my right cheek that was redder than the rest of my cheeks (damn you natural blush!) and appeared to have what looked like spots but weren't functioning the way normal spots worked...as in they never buggered off! I tried all sorts of spot clearing scrubs, washes etc etc, mainly things from the clean and clear range which is great for those with teenage skin suffering from acne. But I've never had such a thing, i was/am blessed with pretty clear skin. So wtf was this?!!! Ha ha.
After nothing seemed to work, i thought maybe it was because i was trying too hard (!!) or that my skin was having a hard time coping with the chemicals in the scrub so wasn't going to clear up on its own. So i went cold turkey on that one and also stopped wearing make up; to be fair to myself i rarely wear it anyway. But nothing worked! So now that I've nicely set up the situation, its now pretty obvious where the narrative is going....i decided to look for another scrub to see if there was an alternative to the intensive harsh chemically products i had been using. And there sat riiiiiiiight at the bottom of the shelf lay this wondrous product which was filled with so much possibility! It even comes with a cute little marketing ploy of "UK's No1 scrub brand" written on the packaging, now it's amazing but surely the positioning on the shelf at Tesco didn't reflect this. Its a well known fact that the brands that sell the most are situated at eye level to catch you (seriously, that's how Tesco got me with a cherry pie once, and I'm not a hardcore fan of cherry pie!).
But the finer details, it has a wonderful smell of apricots with no hint whatsoever of anti-bacterial smell that I've now come to loathe in a face scrub. The beads are a variety of sizes but are not harsh at all, and they massage into delicate skin so smoothly i literally feel like a piece of heaven has smothered my face. On the back it suggests using it 3-4 times a week but I've been using it every day as part of my shower routine and it doesn't dry out your face at all. And lo and behold! My annoying red patch has pretty much disappeared! It is actually really long lasting, I've had mine now for nearly 3 weeks and it's barely made a dent in it, so big thumbs up there! Its also made from natural exfoliants so you know that there is nothing man made here that could cause a massive allergic reaction so its probably OK for sensitive skin (though still check the back if you are inclined to react).
I now feel a lot more confident, and though there are still traces of it, i reckon its probably only me that notices it anyway! So if anyone is blighted by some sort of skin imperfection, don't listen to the adverts of some clear skinned teenager who has never even known the drama a spot can cause, head for St.Ives range of facial scrubs. seriously you won't regret it.
Price wise though, i find that its a bit dear but i think I'm definitely sold purely because of the wonder that it does for my skin. I'm inclined to wonder if they do a body scrub too, just for the occasional all over scrub. The only thing that i am concerned about, and I'll probably look into it, is whether its ethical. Now i know people don't really care too much but i honestly think that we should be aware that lots of things we use are tested on animals, and i really believe that the best way to test something is directly on humans (as quite frankly, i don't think anyone should be using chemical which they have no idea about thus removing the concept of animal testing) but not only apart from that, there is little indication about the ingredients being organic. But that's not a major issue really, i just hope that eventually the company will make informed and more ethical decision about their products. But i really can't fault the quality of the scrub, its fantastic :D
I use my scrub in the evenings and so always use a night cream afterwards, but as always my advice to people is that if they shower in the morning please use a face cream with a SPF in it! Just because getting rid of the dead skin leaves the new shiny skin vulnerable and besides no one wants skin damage from English sun, that's almost laughable!! Hope you've enjoyed my product rave :)
Love Stacey!! xxx

Book review- Brick Lane

Right now, I really want to talk about a book I had to read for my University course entitled "Brick Lane" by Monica Ali which was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize in 2003.
First of all if this type of sh*t novel that is being shortlisted for a literature prize then I seriously worry about the quality of the prize itself and I worry about where the future of literature is going to go. Now the novel is not entirely without its merits but overall it's a dull story with so many pot holes within it that, in my mind, it is a literary failure.
To start with it's a story of a young Bengali woman, Nazneen, who is chosen to be a wife for a Bengali man living in London, and it shows her life as a young wife living at home with not much to do whilst her husband tries to achieve a job promotion at his work. The novel is set immediately prior to the American 9/11 event and it makes references to it whilst also making the racial tensions existing within London more prevalent for the local community. She embarks on an affair, and her husband makes the decision to leave England and return back to his home town and Nazneen ultimately strikes out to become her own woman and she separates from her husband....Sounds like something out of Eastenders in all honesty. Nothing much really happens and the characters are so flat and boring that I wondered if I could even gather any sort of enthusiasm for the developments in her life. It turns out, I couldn't.
Now don't get me wrong, the major post colonial issues are very important to consider when reading this text; there are the racial tensions between white lower classes and the Bengali community as well as the insights into the Islamic religion. For an average white person, like myself, it was a window into another culture without appearing to be too nosey about it but in all honesty Monica Ali really sh*ts on Islam! Her portrayal of it depicted women as being trapped in a system where they have no control and I personally don't believe that this is true at all (even though, I must admit, I have no intimate knowledge at all- I just think these are the 'Daily Mail' type conceptions). However, I think the topic of religion is a risky issue and will move away from it now.
The characters are flat and the readers gain little insight into their development; its like someone mentioning briefly a detail of their lives but forgets that it was ever mentioned. So frustrating to say the least! There is also the fundamental issue of language. This may seem an odd thing to say but literally throughout the novel many references are shown to the readers of Nazneen trying to speak and learn English (which her husband, incidentally, refuses to allow her to do so which is perhaps because of her position as a woman) and then the readers are presented with letters from her sister who still lives in her home town in Bangladesh. The letters are presented in a grammatically incorrect way and serves to indicate the illiteracy....yet what a paradox that the narrative is written is perfect English when the first person narrator is unable to even speak English! That type of narrative device only works if the readers accept that there is a duality of language being spoken. If that's the case, why even have the letters written in this way? Its just frustrating that the author is hammering home all the stereotypes of what is effectively her own community and it does not show the Bengali community in a positive way at all. No wonder there was such an uproar about it! Even more so when film crews tried to make a film (eurgh!) out of this!
The author seems to forget that diversity is worth celebrating! So overall, this book is not something I would recommend but I'd love to know of other opinions as mine might be seen to be very narrow minded. But seriously there is nothing exciting in the prose at all!

Why I chose to do a MA

Doing an MA for most students has a ring of 'i'm unsure about what to do next' about it, frankly its not quite the solid foundations for attempting to do an MA. But I found myself that I was one of those who panicked and then went for what seemed to be the 'go past go' kind of scenario.
Attempting to do an MA for anyone is extremely difficult and there is no student life attached to it like there is with an undergraduate degree; the endless pressure is almost unbearable but the glittering prize at the end of it makes one feel proud of their upcoming achievements. If someone asks me now, why did I choose to continue my education, I feel that I must ponder a bit as the obvious answer of "I dunno" or even "there are no jobs" just doesn't quite cut the mustard really does it? That kind of answer seems flimsy and ultimately unworthy if a potential employer asks you.
So why did I do my MA? I find the answer in the way that I love to read and discover things, there are many more ways to expand my knowledge and setting myself the challenge of actually doing a large dissertation of a topic that really interests me (having been unable to do one at BA level), is my ultimate challenge. I really feel as if my skills of analysis and theory are being put to the test and expanded upon and will benefit me in my future jobs to be able to work independently.
One thing that I loathe about telling people that I'm doing an MA is the fact that I am greeted with a response which makes me look arrogant, and I'm not sure if that is because I have lost touch with reality (!) slightly or if that people just think I'm a massive egg head (which I'm not, by the way, there are plenty of higher achievers out there!!). I can't help but wonder if, when I get to the end of the road, it will even have any benefits for me; the job market is appalling and there are very few opportunities for any level of educated people; those without experience (i.e myself) stand little chance of getting any where. So why do I do it instead of getting real work experience relevant to my chosen job field instead of working part time in a cafe to pay outrageous prices for half arsed education? I enjoy it. That is the sole reason, I love reading and formulating some type of opinion about it (even more so if its arguing against someone, not that I'm argumentative its just I want to express my view!!).
So I personally would recommend continuing to Masters level if you have the time, money and the opportunity to do it, because you never know what may spark your interest and where your life path may lead you. It might even go down the road of a PHD if you're lucky!!